I'm the tidy one, but health issues have kept me from what is necessary. (I type this from another doctor 's office.) My husband is the one who doesn't see mess. In the past, when I did a big clean out, he would accuse me of tossing out his stuff. He couldn't find it, and I would. I have always been respectful of his things, so I don't know where it comes from. I have accepted that this is just who he is, but I can't live in the chaos that has taken over. I told him I was going to hire someone to help me get the house back in order and you could feel the change in room. He walked away and I dropped it (for now).
I always think about how to remove emotion when working with clients - my first focus is always before we touch anything. We get very clear about the desired outcome, writing it down as a North Star. Once we are actually doing the processing of things, I stop using personal pronouns and I am really careful about the language I use and I'm really REALLY careful about the body language I use.
Solid breakdown of something most people miss. That shift from 'Do I want this?' to 'Why are you taking this from me?' is psychologically significant becuase it introduces a defensive layer that wasn't there before. I've been in those shared space situations and holding back the impulse to comment feels counterintuitve but works better.
I agree with you. I’ve been in spaces with other family members clearing out a home when I was able to not comment and it was a lot less anxiety and stress.
I'm the tidy one, but health issues have kept me from what is necessary. (I type this from another doctor 's office.) My husband is the one who doesn't see mess. In the past, when I did a big clean out, he would accuse me of tossing out his stuff. He couldn't find it, and I would. I have always been respectful of his things, so I don't know where it comes from. I have accepted that this is just who he is, but I can't live in the chaos that has taken over. I told him I was going to hire someone to help me get the house back in order and you could feel the change in room. He walked away and I dropped it (for now).
If you ever want 1:1 support, send me a DM. I virtual work too support individuals and couples.
I always think about how to remove emotion when working with clients - my first focus is always before we touch anything. We get very clear about the desired outcome, writing it down as a North Star. Once we are actually doing the processing of things, I stop using personal pronouns and I am really careful about the language I use and I'm really REALLY careful about the body language I use.
Solid breakdown of something most people miss. That shift from 'Do I want this?' to 'Why are you taking this from me?' is psychologically significant becuase it introduces a defensive layer that wasn't there before. I've been in those shared space situations and holding back the impulse to comment feels counterintuitve but works better.
I agree with you. I’ve been in spaces with other family members clearing out a home when I was able to not comment and it was a lot less anxiety and stress.